I wrote a bunch of short stories on Twitter for Halloween but I didn't think to put them on here at the time. I'm not fucking waiting until October to post these, so here they are.
I hope they make you shit yourself.
A man with very muscular legs sits down too quickly and sits on his balls. One of his testicles literally bursts.
THE END
Craig’s halfway through his driving test. The examiner instructs him to perform an emergency stop as soon as she claps her hands together.
Craig only realises the examiner's forgotten her seatbelt after she claps and he sends her flying through the windshield.
THE END
Dan’s sat on the toilet at 3am. He feels terrible. He rubs his eyes under the harsh halogen light of the bathroom, desperately hoping for some movement 'down below'. Suddenly a knife-wielding hand comes up the U-bend and stabs him right up the arse.
THE END
Rosie is confronted by a clone, who insists that she is the real Rosie, and that Rosie is the imposter. The argument escalates, and the clone ends up strangling Rosie to death.
THE END
Jane's driving home at night, suddenly she hits a deer. She gets out to check on it.
Dead.
She - hang on a minute.
She moves in for a closer look.
The deer has a man's head.
THE END
For a prank Ian dresses as a clown and hides behind a bin, hoping to scare a passer-by.
A junkie sees this, freaks out and stabs him 37 times.
THE END
Sarah builds a time machine. She goes to the year 45,000 to see what the future's like. Turns out everything is completely fucked by then and she dies instantly.
THE END
Liam's playing Pokémon Go when he realises he can actually see the Pokémon in real life. A Hitmonlee sprints across the park and rips Liam's arms off.
THE END
I hope they make you shit yourself.
STORY #1
A man with very muscular legs sits down too quickly and sits on his balls. One of his testicles literally bursts.
THE END
STORY #2
Craig’s halfway through his driving test. The examiner instructs him to perform an emergency stop as soon as she claps her hands together.
Craig only realises the examiner's forgotten her seatbelt after she claps and he sends her flying through the windshield.
THE END
STORY #3
Dan’s sat on the toilet at 3am. He feels terrible. He rubs his eyes under the harsh halogen light of the bathroom, desperately hoping for some movement 'down below'. Suddenly a knife-wielding hand comes up the U-bend and stabs him right up the arse.
THE END
STORY #4
Rosie is confronted by a clone, who insists that she is the real Rosie, and that Rosie is the imposter. The argument escalates, and the clone ends up strangling Rosie to death.
THE END
STORY #5
Jane's driving home at night, suddenly she hits a deer. She gets out to check on it.
Dead.
She - hang on a minute.
She moves in for a closer look.
The deer has a man's head.
THE END
STORY #6
For a prank Ian dresses as a clown and hides behind a bin, hoping to scare a passer-by.
A junkie sees this, freaks out and stabs him 37 times.
THE END
STORY #7
Sarah builds a time machine. She goes to the year 45,000 to see what the future's like. Turns out everything is completely fucked by then and she dies instantly.
THE END
STORY #8
Liam's playing Pokémon Go when he realises he can actually see the Pokémon in real life. A Hitmonlee sprints across the park and rips Liam's arms off.
THE END